Friday, February 23, 2007

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
- Groucho Marx

So I'm planning on finally breaking down and buying an Ipod since my only means of listening to music in my car was violently ripped out of my glove compartment. Plus, the benefit of having all my music on one compact, easy-to-use gizmo along with dowloadable podcasts is too damn alluring to turn down.

I want to buy one of those new 30GB full color screen ones with the longer battery life. If anyone has any tips on how to find the cheapest one or what to look for, I'd be much obliged. I've heard MacMall is the way to go, but I wasn't sure if there was some other amazingly cheap Ipod website that I was missing out on.

Also, I graduate this May, and as a present to myself for suffering these three long years of hellacious graduate work, I'm taking myself to Buenos Aires for a month in a last-ditch effort to learn Spanish... and potentially have sex with the Latin princess of my dreams. ahem.

So, in the same vein, if anyone has any tips or advice for getting around the BA (what I will now refer to Buenos Aires as because it also connotes the word "badass"), or even tips for traveling in South America, I would be similarly obliged.

And here's a treat for you computer geeks. See if you can figure out what sexual reference these symbols make- #:#:
Just say it over and over again in your head and I think you'll get it. I'd like to thank the ever-impressive wit of my landlord for that one.

Hint: It has to do with butt sex.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Some days, you wake up late, take a shower, eat some breakfast, groggily stumble to your car, and make your way to work. Other days, you do all that, only on this day, instead of making your way to work, you see that your passenger side window is smashed out, and your CD player and all of your recently purchased and favorite CDs have been stolen, along with a pair of sunglasses you are kind of glad to see gone, and I think maybe some pennies. Today was the latter of these two days.

Yes, I have been officially christened into the world of living ITP ("inside the perimeter" for all you OTP people). And since the glass repair folks can't make it out until three days from now to repair said window, Ziggy (my car) has been outfitted with a spiffy new 2007 model cardboard window complete with blue painter's tape. Very dashing.

The funny thing is, when I walked outside and saw my window had been smashed out, I didn't really react at all. I just turned around, woke Scott up, and called the cops. After making the appropriate phone calls to work, my insurance company, and the glass repair people, I headed outside to pick up the carnage. It was at this point that I began to get pissed off. Not so much because this person had broken my window and stolen shit. But more so because I was being made to clean it up. It's not bad enough that some asshole piece of shit feels the need to forcefully make my personal belongings his belongings. But now I have to pick up pieces of broken glass from all over the inside of my car, pick up all the shit in my car that he deemed unworthy of stealing, and listen to little pieces of broken class go crashing around inside my fucking car door everytime I close the door.

And what's even funnier is that when my house got broken into in Athens, I was all "Well, they probably needed the money more than I did." But this time, no. Fuck that. This time, I'm angry, and whoever did this is a piece of shit. Not because of what this person stole. My CD player was ganky as hell and would skip constantly. I was beginning to really hate that thing anyway, and at this point, it's probably worth about $5. And the CDs I can always download from the internet. This person is a piece of shit because they broke that invisible bubble of protection I thought I had surrounding my personal property. It would never occur to me to say "Hey, look at that shit that's not mine. I will now forcibly make it mine. I'm a fucking shitty human being." But I guess that's because I respect people's belongings and assume they will do the same. I don't feel less safe per se, I just feel angry that someone would disrespect me in such a cowardly way. I'm not saying that if I had seen them doing it, I'd have run out there and confronted them, but the fact that some nameless faceless person insulted me in such a way is pretty damn frustrating.

I hope they enjoy my crappy CD player I got for free, and my 2 Yo La Tengo albums I was really digging on, and my compilation CDs my friend made for me for my birthday that he can sell for nothing, and my Feist album that I was equally digging on, and my shitty glasses that were too heavy and dug into my nose, and my car adapter for said shitty CD player, and I think he took my fucking Lactaid pills, too. I hope they give him violent diarrhea.

But, being the consummate optimist I am, I'm forced to look on the bright side. At least he left behind my two packs of gum, my car insurance and registration cards, the empty CD cases of the now-stolen CDs, and a fuckload of broken glass that will cost me the $50 deductible to repair, which equals about $40 more than this person will get for all the shit he stole, you fucking dick of a human being.

So enjoy you're well-earned $10, you piece of shit. And I hope someday someone violates you in the same way you have violated my sense of safety. Only I hope it's in prison, and I hope it's by some angry Mexican gang member with bad manners, and who hasn't learned the lubricating powers of saliva.

Tirade over. I'll be better tomorrow.