Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I think it would be really funny if you opened a fortune cookie and it said "Tonight you will be raped!" It's times like these I wish I knew how to use Photoshop.

A Message from the Future!!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Last night, Chris and I treated ourselves to a screening of the film "Mindhunters," pictured above, on the recomendation of Mr. Shaun Katz (god bless you, Charter On-Demand). "Mindhunters" features a star-studded cast that includes James Todd Smith (aka LL Cool J), Val Kilmer, the guy that played Sick Boy in "Trainspotting," the chick that played Marta in "Arrested Development," and, classic film star extraordinnaire, Christian Slater. Now let me tell you, there are few movies that I can derive this much enjoyment out of. Not because it's good (although I doubt that I have to tell you that seeing as I've provided the movie poster), but because it is one of the few times where I can guess out loud that when LL Cool J says "Well, I guess we found his weakness..." he is immediately going to say "Bullets." Not only that, but I manage to say the expected cheesy line at the same time as Mr. Cool J, and immediately follow it up by jumping up yelling "YES!" and spinning around to unsuccessfully high-five Chris. Also, this gem is brought to you by the same director that directed "Die Hard 2" (you'll remember that as the super shitty one of the trilogy) and "Deep Blue Sea" (you'll remember that as a shitty movie). Anyway, I want to recomend this movie to my friends in the same way that I want to recommend trying dill flavored liquor. It's fucking shitty as hell, but it makes for a lively conversation started. This movie is chock full of wonderful death scenes and bodily mutilations. Hey, there's even a cripple, so what's not to love about that. And need I mention once again that Val Kilmer is in this movie?! The premise is amazing. Val Kilmer takes a bunch of the shittiest FBI recruits ever to an abandoned island off the coast of Virginia for his own unique brand of unconventional "training." Of course, the recruits are all hip and quick-witted and portray various stereotypes appropriately. And everything seems to be going well after about two seconds of character development that makes the writer of "Predator" look like Tolstoy. But then, people start dying! And it's not long before these recruiters find out the hard way that hunting a serial killer is a process of elimination... THEIR OWN! (it's on the poster)I mean, literally, there's like 10 min. and then crazy freak mutilations. I'm hard pressed to beleive that adults wrote this. I'm even more hard pressed to figure out how movies like these get made repeatedly while good scripts flounder. I'm convinced it has something to do with the increased drive toward stupidity and blatant vapid nonesense entertainment. And, as I briefly digress, here is a beautifully crafted letter to Larry the Cable Guy from David Cross concerning that very subject. Trust me, it's worth reading the whole thing! Anyway, what I'm saying is, you should rent this movie and get real high or drunk or both and prepare to be MINDHUNTED!!! (read "shit yourself from laughing so hard")

And to make up for that turd of a movie, here are some clips of an amazing cartoon collaboration done between Salvador Dali and Walt Disney from 1946 if you can believe that. And if anyone can find me the entire cartoon on video please share the love.