Sunday, January 29, 2006


My brother's fiance Courtney turned 28 this week. He and my brother threw a big bash. This is him very gayly blowing out his birthday candles.

The party was a lot of fun. Lots of the above was done. I got Courtney a food processor. I also got very drunk.

I got to hang out with my good friend Anthony, seen here modeling one of the better presents of the night. He turned me onto this site:,com_contact/Itemid,55/
Just check it out. You'll thank me later.

In case you can't make out what this is, it's a "plow belt." This particular model lets you be "hard, rough, and in control." I think you can figure out the rest from the picture. (I added the zucchini for further clarification.)

And here's a picture of my brother and Courtney's ridiculously cute new puppy, Murphy, eating the ridiculously gay bag I put Courtney's present in. Good boy.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

If I ever had a daughter I would want her to be just like Elizabeth Hartman in "A Patch of Blue." She'd be all blind and adorable and I wouldn't have to raise her 'cus she'd be like 22 when she was born. And then if I didn't want to deal with her I could just get the kindly old man down the hall to take her to the park and she would sit all day on her little blanket under her tree and make little white beaded necklaces.

And then she would meet a kindly black man who would teach her the joys of pineapple juice and cornbeef hash and she would learn how to love. I'm not really sure how the movie ends 'cus I had to turn it off to watch "24," but I'm pretty sure there's something about her regaining her eyesight just long enough to witness her future self being gunned down by the cops in an airport... or something like that

Thursday, January 19, 2006


"In anatomy, the perineum is the region between the genital area and the anus in both sexes. It is considered to be one of the intimate parts of the body. Common nicknames for the area include choad, taint, and grundle.

The muscles and fasciæ of the perineum

The perineum corresponds to the outlet of the pelvis. Its deep boundaries are—in front, the pubic arch and the arcuate ligament of the pubis; behind, the tip of the coccyx; and on either side the inferior rami of the pubis and ischium, and the sacrotuberous ligament. The space is somewhat lozenge-shaped and is limited on the surface of the body by the scrotum (in males) or the vulva (in females) in front, by the buttocks behind, and laterally by the medial side of the thigh. A line drawn transversely across in front of the ischial tuberosities divides the space into two portions. The posterior contains the termination of the anal canal and is known as the anal region; the anterior, which contains the external urogenital organs, is termed the urogenital region.

The muscles of the perineum may therefore be divided into two groups:
1. Those of the anal region.
2. Those of the urogenital region: A, In the male; B, In the female.
3. Those of the groveian region"

Goddamn I love Wikipedia.